Life is hard right now.
Jeremy has decided not to go into the ministry. That’s a big decision, and a difficult one, and one about which we both feel at peace. And yet, it leaves us living in The Land of Perpetual Snow (love you, Hamilton, but your winters suck), a few weeks of school left to go, and our dreams of the future crumbled into ashes in our hands.
The thing is, I was okay with the uncertainty that came with being a seminary student’s wife. You know, not knowing if your husband would get a call; not knowing where he might be called to (a tiny village in Alberta? the mission field? please not The Land of Snow & Mosquitoes!); even not knowing if you’d agree on which call to accept. There was uncertainty in that future, but the uncertainty was outweighed by the confidence I had in Jeremy, as a humble and God-fearing man, being well-suited to the calling.
But this? This is a different sort of uncertainty altogether. I feel deeply unsettled, like the psalmist in Psalm 42 whose soul is “disquieted within him.”
I’m frequently looking at job postings and honestly? Every avenue we have looked into so far has resulted in nothing but closed doors. I’m tired of crying. And fretting. We’re certainly throwing ourselves at God’s feet with unrestrained frequency these days and we look forward to praising Him for getting us through this rocky period.
Please pray for us. Please pray for a job for Jeremy and peace for our little family as we wait for something to fall into place.